God Is Good All The Time!!

A Little Marriage Humor...20 Jokes

1. My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Sydney and mine is in Melbourne.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!". So I bought her an electric chair.

7. Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

8. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

9. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

10. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"....I said, "Dust!"

11. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

12. Why do men die before their wives? 'Because they want to'

13. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

14. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

15. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

16. A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

17. The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like dad!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

18. When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

19. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

20. First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."